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How to Decide Who Gets What in Your Will
Writing a will is more than just distributing your belongings—it’s about telling the story of your life and the people you love.
Every item you leave behind, whether big or small, carries meaning.
It can be overwhelming to decide who should receive what, but thinking of it as an act of love and care can make the process feel far less daunting.
In some ways its a good idea to start with your heart. Who has been there through life’s most important chapters?
Who would treasure a part of your story, not just the financial value of an item, but the memories attached to it?
Often, it’s the sentimental gifts—the family photo albums, a piece of jewelery worn on special days, a grandfather’s watch—that mean the most.
Think about each person’s life and circumstances.
Does one child need more financial support than another? Have you helped out one person or child more than others, and now you want to even things up.
Would a family heirloom hold deeper meaning for someone in particular?
It’s okay to be thoughtful and intentional. Fair does not always mean exactly equal—sometimes it means honouring individual needs, dreams, and relationships.
it’s a great idea to write a letter to accompany your will. A simple, heartfelt note explaining your decisions can ease confusion and bring comfort when you’re no longer here to explain.
Even better is to show your loved ones the will beforehand, so that there are no surprises or infighting whilst you are still with them.
Let your loved ones know that your choices come from a place of deep thought, not favoritism or oversight.
Friends, Extended Family and Charities
Remember what you choose to do with your belongings is totally up to you. Remember those friends that have been with you the whole time. Before you had your family, and alongside you as your family grew.
You may also want to consider your extended family, or charitable causes you hold dear.
A godchild, a lifelong associate, a charity that shaped your life—your will is your chance to honour every corner of your heart.
If you feel stuck, imagine yourself speaking to each person. What words would you want to leave them with?
What small piece of your life would you want them to carry forward?
Above all, remember this: deciding who gets what is not about the material things you leave behind. It’s about love, memories, and the lasting impact of a life well lived. Your will is your final gift to those you care about most—a way of saying, “I thought of you. I cared for you. I am still with you.”
Take your time. Reflect with love. And know that in making these decisions, you are continuing to shape your legacy of kindness, even after you’re gone.